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AceMantra
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Aaron @AceMantra

Age 33

Musician

Digital Media and Cinema

Edmonton, Canada

Joined on 4/8/05

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As Time Runs Out

Posted by AceMantra - August 25th, 2018


It's been an interesting few days, and by interesting I mean devastating and emotionally draining. It's been a long time coming, as this job has been mentally taxing on me.

It all started last Tuesday as I arrived at work. The first couple of hours went along as normal; my manager and I had our usual talk about all the nerdy things. Then the Area Manager, we'll call her Liz, showed up as my co-worker, let's call her Susie, arrived. At first I didn't think much of it, until Liz asked to talk to my manager privately. After a few minutes of confusion, Liz called Susie to the back room. It wasn't until I saw Susie leaving the back room in tears that I knew what happened. She was fired for laying hands on a thief a few weeks prior.

For those of you who don't know, the store has a incredibly high theft rate, as well as many cases of people armed with machetes and knives trying to rob us. Upper management has yet to do anything about the dangerous environment we work in despite our numerous reports.

Anyway, immediately after Susie was fired, my manager handed his keys to Liz and resigned on the spot. His reasoning was that he was sick and tired of upper management regarding it as, "just theft" and to "not take it personally." It's not just theft, it's a very dangerous work environment that upper management refuses to do anything about.

Later during my shift, the Assistant Manager stopped by to hand in his keys as well after he heard what happened. For the next few hours, I was the only one employed in the store. Just as I thought matters couldn't get any worse, 10 people entered the store and stole dozens of bottles of liquor. It was at that point where I lost it. Once they left, I locked the doors, put the money in the safe and left an hour and a half before closing time. I didnt' sleep that night.

I saw my psychologist the following morning, and I told her what happened. She advised me to stop working immediately as it was causing severe damage to my mental health. After my appointment, Liz called me asking if I was coming into work. Coldly, I told her I was coming to the store, not to work, but to hand in my keys and uniform. So I did just that.

Now what? Well, I've been finding it harder and harder to get up in the morning. Not since I quit; it's been going on since I started that job. Now I have to worry about affording medication, food, and rent. But also... I've fallen into some deep darkness, and I'm not sure if I can get out on my own. After all the mental anguish of having weapons pulled on me, and all the thefts that happened daily, I can't help but fixate on the fear, dread, and suicidal thoughts.

 

TL;DR, Everyone quit the store, including myself. Now I have to find a job.


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Comments

i dont know how it is to be in such a situation because from what i know most stores here are pretty save and big. i am sorry though. i know how it is to have to feel so bad and having suicidal thoughts going through your mind. i have had that for 9 years straight now what isn't fun. luckly you got out of that situation. i feel bad that i can't help you further and make you feel better, just know if you ever need help i am always open to help out. i hope you feel better soon, and end up in a situation you feel save and comfortable in.

First of all, I'm glad you're out of there. Being there brought you so much anguish, the likes of which you're still dealing with now.

You know whom to turn to if you need to vent. I know what the impact of past horrors can have, and I feel you. I'll be sending you prayers, and doing my best to check in on you from time to time.

You were well within your right to do what you had to and no one should give you flak for it. Retail workers deserve to be treated as people with their own lives, not as mere punching bags for shits and giggles.

I'm baffled as to how the store you worked for managed to stay in business as long as it had. Wouldn't people become aware of how bad things are happening there and stay away?

If you want to, you can try crowdfunding sites like Patreon and Ko-fi to help keep a roof over your head while job searching. Some of your fans might be willing to pitch in and help you.

Good luckwith finding a new job. I hope you get through the suicidal thoughts and stuff, I've never been in that situation but I know it can be tough. You just have to keep going and know there are people willing to help you. Also, the way you guys resigned sounded badass.

Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes. I really thought I was alone on this one.

Did you find a new job? :(

Fuck I thought this was another chill posts of your so I didn't read it. I'm such a terrible friend.

Nah man, it's totally fine. You're still a good friend. :)

UPDATE: I haven't found a job yet, but I've been getting a few bites. I've already had a few interviews this month. Unfortunately my anxiety was showing in them and didn't end up getting the jobs. It's immensely stressful and I've been losing sleep over it, but I'm trying to remain hopeful.

Hey why not start a GoFundMe for the time being until you can find a new job? I'll send you $50

That is a very kind offer. I've considered reaching out, and while I'd be grateful to the point of tears, I know I would feel awful about it.
Despite my bank account being deep in the red, I have a hard time asking for help. It's not a pride thing, it's more of a problem with my own self-worth.

These plugins gonna help you with the project if you are using FL Studio https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1436363/2#bbspost26336405_post_text

Thanks buddy! I'll take a look through them.